In San Francisco
So good to be here in this city I love. Seeing my kids has been so wonderful and finally I'm starting to feel rested.
I arrived Christmas night-my friend Dan picked me up and drove me to his house where a lively party was in progress. Ribs, 20 crabs, shrimp-lots of wine and laughter. I was a little overwhelmed as I had thought we were having a small dinner party with my kids and ex. I wasn't able to hang out the whole night and crashed upstairs.
Last night my kids and I went to the movies-my son took the BART back to Hayward as he wasn't feeling so well. Kathleen came back with me to Suki's mother in law apartment which she so gratiously gave me to stay in while I'm in town. Right now Kathleen is asleep in a cloud of soft duvet. I sat outide drinking coffee and smoking-god it feels good here. The air cool and fresh-smells good and I'm taking it in. The energy of SF-the constant rumble of cars and electricity. I slept so well last night-Suki's neighborhood is so quiet and now I'm realizing that I miss quiet-at least moments of it. And to be in a bed-so luxurious.
I miss this city and I miss the friends I have here. Looking forward or back to New Orleans-the air is not fresh there-it is not California or Washington and yet I love the culture there more. Suki also lent me a car and I instantly found myself driving around this crazy city just as I used to as if no time has passed. Yet-it really has and this is no longer "my" city. I want to keep it in my back pocket. I want it to be there for me but alas-I sold my last piece of property here and therefore gave up on living the rest of my life here. It's too damn expensive to consider a return at this point. It makes me feel sad. I lost part of myself here.
Yet, had I not made that move I would never have had the experience of really getting to know my sisters in Seattle and I seriously doubt that I would have ended up volunteering in New Orleans. It's like whatever decision you make you find yourself in a new place with new challeges. Here, it's coming up with high rent or high mortgage to pay and the constant stress of that. In return I had the oppurtunity to live in an amazing place-unlike any other city. This city is changing. Its losing some or much of it's unique diversity and becoming a city of the very wealthy americans. It is still very very beautiful.
I'm going to drink in it's beauty and enjoy every moment I can steal from my kids and my friends. I feel so very lucky to have the friends I have-all have been exceptional people and of course my kids are the best in the world:) I think it's the people that draw me to a place so it's almost counterintuitive to leave SF behind. The skill of meeting new people and weeding out the wrong ones-I have that (at least I hope I do) but it does take time to develop friendships. I think I'll keep my friends here in SF and Seattle and New Orleans and do my best to keep them alive by communicating and visiting. Forever the prodigal daughter....
I arrived Christmas night-my friend Dan picked me up and drove me to his house where a lively party was in progress. Ribs, 20 crabs, shrimp-lots of wine and laughter. I was a little overwhelmed as I had thought we were having a small dinner party with my kids and ex. I wasn't able to hang out the whole night and crashed upstairs.
Last night my kids and I went to the movies-my son took the BART back to Hayward as he wasn't feeling so well. Kathleen came back with me to Suki's mother in law apartment which she so gratiously gave me to stay in while I'm in town. Right now Kathleen is asleep in a cloud of soft duvet. I sat outide drinking coffee and smoking-god it feels good here. The air cool and fresh-smells good and I'm taking it in. The energy of SF-the constant rumble of cars and electricity. I slept so well last night-Suki's neighborhood is so quiet and now I'm realizing that I miss quiet-at least moments of it. And to be in a bed-so luxurious.
I miss this city and I miss the friends I have here. Looking forward or back to New Orleans-the air is not fresh there-it is not California or Washington and yet I love the culture there more. Suki also lent me a car and I instantly found myself driving around this crazy city just as I used to as if no time has passed. Yet-it really has and this is no longer "my" city. I want to keep it in my back pocket. I want it to be there for me but alas-I sold my last piece of property here and therefore gave up on living the rest of my life here. It's too damn expensive to consider a return at this point. It makes me feel sad. I lost part of myself here.
Yet, had I not made that move I would never have had the experience of really getting to know my sisters in Seattle and I seriously doubt that I would have ended up volunteering in New Orleans. It's like whatever decision you make you find yourself in a new place with new challeges. Here, it's coming up with high rent or high mortgage to pay and the constant stress of that. In return I had the oppurtunity to live in an amazing place-unlike any other city. This city is changing. Its losing some or much of it's unique diversity and becoming a city of the very wealthy americans. It is still very very beautiful.
I'm going to drink in it's beauty and enjoy every moment I can steal from my kids and my friends. I feel so very lucky to have the friends I have-all have been exceptional people and of course my kids are the best in the world:) I think it's the people that draw me to a place so it's almost counterintuitive to leave SF behind. The skill of meeting new people and weeding out the wrong ones-I have that (at least I hope I do) but it does take time to develop friendships. I think I'll keep my friends here in SF and Seattle and New Orleans and do my best to keep them alive by communicating and visiting. Forever the prodigal daughter....
posted by singsforyou at 10:00 AM
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